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| For those who have read “It’s Not About the Bike” by Lance Armstrong, a cancer survivor and Tour De France winner, you will understand the title. I am writing about what I “got” from a recent fly fishing program for men with cancer, suggested by the Cancer Resource Centers of Mendocino County. And more than the words, I will include some photos, because I really want more men with cancer to have the experience I found with Reel Recovery, and I hope the words and photos will get them to go.
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Recently, Rita Martinez, “Patient Navigator” for CRCMC sent me information about the fly fishing program titled “Reel Recovery” for men with cancer or cancer survivors. Although fishing isn’t my thing, I decided to go, on Rita’s recommendation. The program took place at Clear Water Lodge in Fall River Mills, CA. This is one of the most beautiful settings one can imagine. The meals, the gear and the lodging were all free. If I were writing a MasterCard advertisement I would add, “the counselors and guides: priceless.” These men, with decades of fly-fishing experience, traveled hundreds of miles to share their skills with men with cancer. The counselor joked about men in the past who had thought of leaving early to avoid the “time share pitch” – a pitch that never came. The first day of fishing I felt much the same way. Fly fishing seemed too complicated, too much expensive gear was needed, and it took up too much time. However, by the second day I changed my mind. The reasons for the change are too numerous to list. In two days, the participants went from strangers to a band of brothers. I will see several again, including men that tried to teach me to get the fly to land where they could easily put it.
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| There were nine of us; groups are never more than twelve. Men who could have filled those three empty spaces missed out. The age range can be from young to very old. I saw great differences in education, politics, religions, and more, but we hardly noticed these differences. We focused on what we had in common: We all “got it.” We got that life is short and then you die - leaving friends and family behind to grieve. We got that rich, or poor, PhD’s or cowboys, the feelings are the same. We got that some of us were destined for painful deaths while others might escape, and we got that there is no way to know for sure who it will be. We knew that men who had been through the program recently and signed their names to fishing vests, were gone. There is horror and there is hope. That’s life. And then we worked on “getting” our ABC’s of fly-fishing from the men who knew it all - from A to Z. |
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It was stormy on the way to Fall River, but it cleared up for perfect weather both days of fishing. We talked and fished. Some of the men had been through hell compared to what I have gone through, and others had it easier. I am running, lifting weights and I have gained back 20 of the 40 lbs I lost. I am not sure if luck will stay with me; none of us know. I am not a social person (my friends don’t believe that) and it’s hard for me to “spill my guts” to anyone, much less to strangers, and I don’t “do” men’s groups. But the program was much more than I expected and you could share or not share, depending on your mood or the topic, which worked well for most of us. |
| We live in a society that gives far, FAR more attention and funding to breast cancer, compared to prostate cancer. Still, in the United States, 27,050 men will die of prostate cancer in 2007 alone. A program like Reel Recovery is needed because most men seem to keep their emotional needs, their fear, and their bravery locked inside. Most of society is more comfortable reaching out to woman, or having women reach out for help, than we are with men. Some criticize men for holding too much inside, but I respect that to a point. I also think we men need to talk to others - women or men - who are dealing with what we all have in common: the fear of leaving our family and friends too early and the fear of “handling” a painful, debilitating condition that takes away your strength and your purpose in life. And for some men, cancer seems to take away their masculinity. |
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Most of what I felt from being at the retreat was a great respect. Respect for the men who drove hundreds of miles to share their skills with strangers, and a very great respect for what some of the men shared about their lives and their experiences with cancer. We met as strangers and left as brothers, and I don’t say that lightly. There will be more programs next year and if you are a man with cancer or a survivor, or if you know someone who is, put them in touch with Reel Recovery – if they are lucky, they might catch a fish, but for sure they will find much more than that.
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For more information on Reel Recovery programs, visit their website at www.reelrecovery.org, or call toll free: 1-800-699-4490. Brochures and information is also available through Patient Navigators at the CRCMC. |
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